Wait!

 The hiring process for this apprenticeship has been a pattern of escalating anxiety and long waits culminating in a sigh of relief, followed by another long anxious wait.

 Even starting back when I wasn't sure I wanted the job, the wage grade aptitude test was on my mind. The practice test the website referred me to was called the Accuplacer, and it was not easy for me. It had a lot of algebra on it that I hadn't seen in more than a decade. So, I took some lessons at Khan Academy to prepare, but for the month leading up to the test I was kind of worried. While I was confident that I can score higher than most anyone on a general knowledge or IQ test, what if my score was not as high as the Navy wanted?

 Of course, I scored very high and was placed in the best most qualified category, and was one of the first people called in for interview. I think this little victory gave me a sense of security that was maybe a little unwarranted. It wasn't until I received a job offer for a lower level trade that I realized how lucky I was to get a congratulations letter at all.

 Because of that, the security clearance and the medical exam has caused me way more worry than it should. I know full well that I am a smart, strong, healthy individual with nothing in my past to be ashamed of. The forms are just intimidating, perhaps deliberately so, when they ask for so much detail about your past.

 The medical paperwork asks you to list every doctor you've ever seen with the reason for each visit knowing that failure to secure medical clearance will cost you this great job. I was nervous to put down so much as a headache for fear that it would count against me. The in-person exam was impressively thorough, as well. It involved tests of lung strength and capacity, EKG, urinalysis, blood tests, chest x-rays, vision screening, hearing screening, and a short exam by a navy doctor in uniform.

 I know I'm healthy and capable, but I'm not indestructible. Pericarditis, two sprained ankles, I wear glasses, and often have to ask Amanda to repeat herself. Hell, I was at an Electric Six concert a couple days before, and my ears were still ringing a bit. I was delighted to be told that my hearing is excellent, my eyes are sufficient, and the rest of my body is will do.

 That was seven weeks ago, and I've not heard a word from them. I assumed they were investigating my life going back 10 years, and judging that some members of my family made me a security risk. Both my parents have FBI files and a few arrests. Bob's kids, while I've barely met them, I'm sure are no strangers to the department of corrections. I've always been harmless and responsible! It's not fair to deny me this opportunity because of family members I hardly talk to!

 Even though they told me No News Is Good News, I called them the other day to check on the status of my security clearance. A nice woman named JoEllen explained to me "you already have interim security clearance, you're just waiting for HR to give you your start date. We don't even start the investigation until you start working here."

 What a relief! I have the job, I was worried over nothing. Then again, this means even more waiting in the future. After waiting for my application to be processed, waiting to take my test, waiting for the test results, waiting for my interview, waiting for my job offer, and waiting for my medical clearance, I still have to wait for my start date, wait for security clearance, wait a year before I could change trades... And all that is in addition to all the other waiting I'm doing. Waiting for my last day at Staples, waiting to move back to New Hampshire, waiting to get into our apartment, waiting for our wedding.

 It feels like my entire life is waiting right now, but I'm waiting for the right things. I'm waiting for progress to really build my life. That's what makes it so hard though. These are big changes for the improvement of my life. I've been using the phrase "I can't wait" a lot when talking about the future. Unfortunately, I have to. There's not way to get around it. But if waiting for these wonderful things to happen in my life is the hardest part of achieving them, then things are going pretty great.

Crunch Time

 I made a gamble a couple months ago, and this week is when I find out if it paid off.

 Every piece of paper the shipyard has sent me has said "Do not give notice to your present employer. We will give you time to give notice when you receive an official job offer." However, the Staples hiring process moves at a snail's pace (Compared to the Navy's hiring process, which I would describe as glacial.). It takes longer than a couple weeks to transition accounts over to a new person, and it takes years to learn the computer program we use. A couple months back, my boss said a couple cryptic things about me leaving the company that made me think that she knew something was up. So, to preserve that relationship and reference, I told her that I would be leaving the company in 12 weeks.

 I think that was a good decision, even though that declaration was premature. At the time, there was still a medical exam, security clearance, and suitability assessment. I was very confident that they would not be a problem, but it was not certain that I had the job.

 Well, I passed the medical exam, and I sent in my security clearance paperwork. At my visit to the shipyard for my medical exam, I was given an estimated starting date of January 12th, which would be confirmed mid-December after my security clearance came back and until then, no news is good news.

 So, I've had no news since then. I guess I should consider that good, but I'm super nervous. I've told my landlord I'm leaving, I've quit my job, my fiancee's parents are expecting me to start... I have everything riding on this career, and waiting to get the official word is torture. The future I have envisioned for myself is dependant on news that I expect to receive any day now. Every step of the process has squeezed my patience a little more. From the application and resume vetting process, to the standardized test, to the interview, medical exam, security... and now we're here, 8 months after applying.

 Obviously, in my mind I'm already at the yard. Otherwise, I would not have started severing important ties here in New Jersey. Amanda is much more hesitant. When we started looking at apartments in New Hampshire, she first made me say that I would move back to New Hampshire regardless of whether or not I got the job.

 In my head, it has been a sure thing from the beginning, which I realized several months ago was incredibly arrogant of me. Thousands of people applied for this apprenticeship, and only 125 or so were accepted. I was accepted, but only with a lower level trade. The idea that I could get this close and not sign on as a permanent employee would be very, very depressing for all of us.

 It's not like there is another vetting step involved. I was given a preliminary job offer, and so it's just a matter of paperwork before I start. My fear is that I've somehow screwed up the security clearance forms, that somehow the e-forms did not submit. That would mean I forfeited this wonderful opportunity due to a single scatterbrained moment back in October. These are the things that wake me in the middle of the night.

 I'd like to think that if my security clearance was not received, I would have heard something about it by now. Also, I remember submitting it, and printing out my signature forms, and stuff like that. I'm certain I did it correctly, but when I expected to hear by now and I haven't, the anxiety that maybe something is wrong is back.

 I need to know this week. If they don't call me within a couple days, I will call them. I won't be able to sleep until I hear from them. And of course this is moments away from the holidays, so it's a roll of the dice if anyone will be there.

 No word yet on what will happen first - word from PNSY or all my hair falling out.

Adventures in federal employment

I applied for a civilian job with the US Navy in April of 2014. Shortly after that, I applied to an office job at Staples. I had three interviews with Staples with some delays in the middle. I gave my notice at Rite Aid, moved to New Jersey, started working there just after memorial day. The weekend I moved down, I received notice that my application had advanced to the next step, which was the wage grade aptitude something or other exam. It's a standardized scantron exam proctored by Naval workers at a community college.

In every piece of communication from the navy about the job included a line in bold font, "This is NOT a job offer - do not quit your present job and do not give any type of notice to your present employer. If you are selected for a position, you will be given time to provide a notice to your present employer before starting work at the shipyard." That is on every single e-mail and letter they send you. Clearly, they've had problems in the past with this sort of thing.

I was given my test date, several weeks later. I drove up from New Jersey to New Hampshire to take a test in Maine to see if I was qualified for a job at the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard which is not even in the same state as Portsmouth, NH. I was prepared. I looked up a practice exam and studied for that. It was kind of tough, that practice exam. It was called the Accuplacer, and it was focused on math and reading comprehension- two of my strong suits. Although some of the more complex algebra, I hadn't done since high school, and really struggled with.

Fortunately, the actual exam was absolutely NOTHING like the actual exam.

Before each section, we had a 10 minute warm-up which has sample questions, but were not scored. The first section was not about math or reading comprehension. It was fill in as many bubbles as you can in 10 minutes readysetgo!" No questions, just fill in bubbles. It was a list of numbers corresponding to spots on the answer sheet, all jumbled up, with a letter next to it. So the question book was "12. E, 79. A, 7. C, 52. B..." and you had to fill in as many as possible, you were not expected to complete the entire section, blank ones didn't count against you, but incorrect bubbles did.

After the practice section, it was time for the real one. I was already mumbling to myself, "This is so stupid..." I worked quickly, and presumably did pretty well. I noticed the fellow next to me filled in a few, and then spent the rest of the time staring at his answer sheet. After it was pencils down, the dude puts his hands behind his head and chuckles, "blank ones don't count against you." Like he just gamed the system by not answering the "questions."

And this is why they require the test.

So, that was in June, two months after I had applied. The tests would be sent to Florida for grading, then the scored would be sent to naval officials in August. Based on those scores, a round of interviews was to be held. Those who scored 90 or higher on the test were marked as "Best qualified" and interviewed first, then those who scored in the 80s, 70's, and 60's. Below that, you were no longer considered eligible.

In September, I received an e-mail saying that I had been scheduled for an interview, and they would be mailing me information. However, in the five months since I applied for the job, I had moved a couple times, used 5 different mailing addresses... I called them right away, but there was no way that packet was going to make it to me.

I called them on Friday, a nice woman told me my interview was scheduled for Monday morning. After a brief period of panic, I managed to get the day off from work, drove to new hampshire, and was able to make it to my interview in Maine no problem.

In the packet, there was a list of interview questions. Basically, you can just google the top 23 job interview questions, and you'd come up with the list. At the top of the page was the disclaimer "The questions listed are only a SAMPLE of questions that you 'could' be asked during the interview process."

I prepared for the spirit of the questions, rather than the exact wording. I wanted to be candid, comfortable, and confident. I didn't think they would be asking me those exact questions.

But this is the navy, and they do things by the book.

I faced a panel of 5, but only one was interviewing me. He held the same sheet that was e-mailed to me, and he read the questions verbatim.

Everything went well, but as I was shaking the panelists hands, I knocked a cup of water into someone's lap. I really hope they still offer me a job.

I will be notified of a job offer in four weeks with an expected start date of January or February - up to 10 months after I applied.

I've enjoyed the comedy of the snail's pace this process had taken, but I'm ready for it to be over. If I'm going to take the job, I want to take it now before I start getting really lazy at Staples. It's like senioritis, except in this case, I would actually be going back to school.