Uni, unicyclin'...

Like I said, it's been raining all June, save for two nice days. On the first, Wednesday two weeks ago, I planned a nice long unicycle ride to sort of stretch my legs, an dget them ready for this summer. I didn't do the Whiteface race this year, though I'm still itching to redeem myself. No, I need to get in shape for a leisurly ride with my dad and brother in August. It looks like we'll be riding Skyline Drive through Blue Ridge National Park. It's 105 miles through some great natural scenery. Also, the speed limit is a modest 35 mph, so hopefully the motorists will give us a break. It is in the area with the densest population of black bear in the country, so... there's that. This is according to Kyle, at least; I couldn't find a source on it. But still, that national park is bear country, and we're going to be camping in it. Also, we'll be sweaty and stinky and probably pretty tasty. I'm just saying, is all...

So, I was going for a ride. I'd planned about 20 miles to do, becaue I didn't know when I'd get another chance. I was going to hop on the rail trail, and relax.

And on my way to the rail trail, I got hit by a car. I'm fine, obviously, but it just ruined my day. I was on the sidewalk, going through an intersection, and a car made a right turn into me. I usderstand that sometimes people aren't paying attention, and... it happens. Okay. No one was hurt, nothing was damaged, but an apology would be nice. Nope, he decided to try and blame it on me, because he had a green light. "You hit a pedestrian on a sidewalk, what are you thinking?"

For the record, motorists are required to yield to pedestrians without exception. Bicycles are prohibited from riding on sidewalks. Unicycles sort of fall into a grey area; in some places it's considered a bike, in others, a skateboard, and sometimes sort of like a wheelchair. The attitude among drivers in Farmington (and most other places in the US) is sort of like a bully. "My vehicle could beat up your vehicle, so make way." That's exactly why I was enroute to the rail trail, where cars are forbidden.

man, I wish there were more places like that. Okay, motorists, you've just made the list!

THE LIST

Connecticut
Family Guy
Carlos Mencia
Rite Aid
The Wealthy
Ann Coulter
My neighbors
Ron Paul
Alarm Clocks
Motorists

Okay, now that I've worked myself up about it, I need some food. Check back, because eventually this blog will have readers, and you don't want to be left behind when I hit it big! Cheers.

Fresh Air!

I'm tryingto catch up on my blog, so, bear with me...

I’ve recently moved, and am now in a one-room efficiency on the 3rd-and-a-half floor (or is that three-and-a-halfth?) of 166 High St. Despite the drawbacks that have developed over the past couple weeks, I’m enjoying it. I’m cooking more, I’m showering more frequently, my teeth are whiter, I’m showing up early for work, I’m stronger, I’m reading more, and with this blog entry, I am accomplishing one of my many summer writing projects.
 What could have happened? Why am I suddenly investing so much in my body and mind? Well, because Farmington is a lonely, isolated place in the summertime, as I suspect it will be over the next year. Almost all my friends graduated, Courtney left me, and now I live alone. I’ve already tested the limits of my welcome with Matt and Kayne, and somehow caused a horrible rift between Renee and her roommate, so I feel compelled to hermit myself lest I do more damage.
 Okay, that’s a little dramatic. But my life had dramatically changed in a short time. The Courtney thing has been playing tricks with my mind. Courtney hasn’t been playing tricks, mind you. Just… I’ve never been in this sort of situation before, and I don’t know how to handle it. We respected each other, we did what we could to make each other happy, we talked to each other, we didn’t cheat on each other, we didn’t play mind games, we had a truly rare relationship. And yet we broke up. It stings a bit. I’m not the bitter gargoyle I thought I would be, or was when my relationship with Petra ended. How am I supposed to react to a break up when neither of the two parties really have any interest in being broken up?
 It’s been a struggle to find people with whom to talk about it (see the remarks above about pushing the limits of a couple friends of mine), so basically, I’m stumped. I don’t know what to do. I want to struggle against it, but for what purpose? Reconciliation is not an option. If staying together were an option, we wouldn’t have broken up.
 So, I guess it is what it is, and we have to live with it. The only trouble is there are very few things that I accept that I need to live with. Everything else, I’ll strive to remedy. I don’t like having to live with things.
 Typically, I use writing as a means of organizing my thoughts to draw them to their honest and necessary climax. It seems that, for now at least, I’m unable to flesh out my thoughts on Courtney. Perhaps another time.
 So hey! How about hockey!
 Red Wings lost in game seven by one goal. Kronwal’s 3rd period shot off the crossbar was heartbreaking, but we lost. That’s okay. There’s a reason it’s so rare that a team wins back to back championships- It’s really, really hard. Just to make it to the finals two years in a row is practically unheard of. That really speaks to the strength of the Penguins and the Redwings these years. The Wings were pretty badly injured, and in the midst of uncharacteristic scoring droughts from most of their big guns. It’s probably better for the NHL that the Pens won anyway.
 Here’s why I’m optimistic. The Wings are stacked for next year. Not only do we have Lidstrom, Datsyuk, Zetterberg, and Franzen signed for life, but some youngsters that proved to be valuable weapons on both offense and defense. So I say to all you Penguins fans out there: Same time next year?

 I’ve been reading The Seducer’s Diary, by Kierkegaard lately, and it is wonderful. It’s a slightly fictionalized story of his love affair with a woman named Regine Olsen. Love has never been so finely crafted with paper and ink, and heartbreak explosive and fierce. Kierkegaard never recovered from their break up, and it isn’t possible to fully understand his philosophy without understanding her role in his life. This needs to be made into a movie.

So, all this is old news. I haven't been able to post, because I only get reliable internets on my balcony (fire escape), and I can only bring the laptop out there when it's not raining, which is has been for the past 26 days.

So, more to come, check back often.

I'm back from the dead! Satan says hi...

So, turns out blogging is hard when you’re a full time student and have a lame job AND training for a race as well. So, I guess I haven’t updated since school started a couple months ago. Well, then. If I have any readers left, I’m sorry. Send me your address, and I’ll… send you a fruit basket, or something.
School is tough, but I’m keeping it together. There have been tons and tons of presentations, and movies, and extra credit lectures and stuff that I would have loved to go to, but, my work hours are essentially on the schedule as WHENEVER YOU’RE NOT IN CLASS, so I have to miss, you know, all of them.
On my plate right now, I have classes (14 hours weekly), work (22 hours weekly), homework (5-7 hours weekly), bowling league (3 hours weekly), unicycling (4 hours weekly + whatever extra time I can scrounge up), gym training (3 hours weekly), writers guild (2 hours weekly), rape crisis center (48 hours monthly), household chores (2 hours weekly), girlfriend time (probably 10 hours weekly), and any other recreation I can find (3 hours weekly, usually on weekends before I get dressed). Then, of course, sleep (not enough) and food (not enough). There’s also a lot I could/should be doing for MENSA and the Freemasons, but both are temporarily on hiatus, until I have more money, and when I don’t have class every Tuesday.
It’s a lot. It’s hard for me to slow down. Whenever I leave work, and one of the girls says to me, “have a good day off,” I always reply that just because I’m not at Rite Aid doesn’t mean I get the day off. I’m a busy, important fellow, and I demand respect!



Anyway, it looks like I’ll have a little more free time this week, because I’ll have to cut most of my exercise. I ended up in the ER after having chest pains for about 12 hours. I got checked out, hooked up to an EKG, and everything. Here’s what the PA-C said.
“Well, with the EKG, we can tell if there’s dead tissue in your heart, or if certain areas of it aren’t functioning, or if certain parts are working harder than they should, based on the pattern of spikes. But with yours, there isn’t a pattern of spikes. It’s all spikes.”
My heart is made of spikes.
The diagnosis was pericarditis, which is a viral inflammation of the lining of my heart. Not too serious, just scary as all hell. It’s my heart! If that virus were to spread, the two closest things would be my heart muscle and my lungs. And I need those to live.
So, I just have to take it easy until the inflammation goes down, not get my heart rate up, and swallow a couple of pills three times a day for two weeks.
My dad just did his qualifier, and Kyle is riding his 2nd day right now. If we get it together, we should be able to register by the end of the month! I’m getting more and more excited about the event, and nervous every moment I’m not unicycling. But, it’s just been so cold, and so snowy, I just can’t be out there all the time. We’ve had something like 135 inches of snow this season, and so cars can’t see around corners at all. Basically, even though I have no problem riding in the snow, I would prefer not get hit by a car.
I did map out a 2 mile loop around town that I can practice on without having to plan on a long trip. As soon as the snow recedes, and I clean up the captain, and my heart gets better, I’m going to shoot for 10 laps in 90 minutes.
Well, I’ve got bowling. Cheers!

Note: The picture is from a scavenger hunt I did a month ago. One of the items was for “picture with someone famous,” and I have a big Ride The Lobster promo banner in my apartment. One short girl on the left is trainer girlfriend Courtney.

Also, remember that protein sand I had a while back? Well, Monday, I had a tooth extracted, so solids weren't for me for a day or two, so I had another one. It's really not bad.

Thoughts regarding the appraching school term...

Okay, so I’ve been working on a new entry for a couple weeks now. It hasn’t been lack of material that has prevented me from writing. I’m just a busy, important fellow with a daunting semester starting early Tuesday morning. On top of that, I’ve been working full time, and cleaning my apartment constantly.

Writing isn’t the only thing that has suffered at the expense of the increasing burdens on my time. I haven’t been to the gym in a while, and the exercises I do at home I’ve been slacking on because last time I thought to do them, I was too full of pasta to bend that far. I mean, I still unicycle four miles every day, but that’s just not doing it for me.

Now, looking at a 16 credit semester and 23 hours of pharmacy a week, things do not look good for Unicycle Max. I’m going to have to cut some hours at work so I can train, but I have a feeling I’m going to end up using training time to catch up on reading, or spend more time with Courtney. I’ll have to write it into my schedule, and hold to it, like someone with actual athletic discipline.

If I cut my pharmacy hours, then I’m going to be cash poor for… well, forever. I need money to fix my car (which will zero out my checking account once again), for rent, for phone, for food, and to replace a couple unicycles. My 24” Torker Unistar CX modified all-terrain unicycle was stolen from outside Rite Aid while I was working a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t locked up or anything, because I live in semi-rural Maine, and I figure the only person within thirty miles it would have any value to is me.

I guess if any of my unicycles were to be stolen, that would be the one. What I mean is, it would be the cheapest to replace. It’s a cheap unicycle, but after I’d reported it to the police, I got to thinking. The pedals, tire, and saddle cost me $70. The other thing is, of course, sentimental value. I learned how to ride on that unicycle. So did my brother. I’ve had it for five and a half years, my dad gave it to me for my birthday. I put a lot of time, money, blood, sweat, tears, and miles into that little Torker.

So, I reported it to the police, like I said, and they came by to talk to me about it. I knew it wasn’t too likely that they would find it, or even put much effort into it. The sergeant told me, “If we see anyone unicycling who isn’t you, I guess, we’ll stop them and ask them some questions.” Then he added, “Well, there is that one girl who rides, as well.”

At that moment, Rosie knocked on my door, her Torker LX 20” schlepped over her shoulder. When I opened it, the sergeant pointed at her, and shouted, “There she is!” which I immediately followed by demanding, “Did you steal my unicycle?!” I’m amazed she didn’t turn and run.

I suggested to her the idea of holding a unicycle jousting tournament when the snow melts to raise money to replace the unicycle. Not as ourselves, of course, but as war-like alter-egos who live by the wheel and by the lance. I would be Prince Vincent Von Fabian III of Moldova, wearing Roman Centurion armor, for some reason. I believe she said she would be someone named Eilas, pronounced and perhaps even spelled Eyeless, wearing samurai armor made largely of plastic buttons. I figured if we did it between the student center and Roberts hall, we could get some foot traffic. Then again, there’s not a whole lot of room there, especially if we use my seven-foot lances. We could put an eye out. Then again, she is eyeless….
Anyway, We’ll pick a location later.

I also have to replace my training unicycle. I have a 25 year old Miyata that I got at a yard sale. The seat post is only 200mm tops, which is way too short for me, so I use it to teach people to ride. But, she’s old, and a quarter century of abuse has kind of gotten to her. You can’t get parts on this continent, so I’m thinking I’ll just retire her. UDC is still holding their blowout sale, so I think I’ll just pick up a Sun, or something cheap like that.

But, financially, if I’m getting my car fixed, and paying my bills, and eating, there isn’t much room for unicycle. I still need to get my Coker in tip-top shape. For that, I need a bearing and handlebars, at very least, and I’d like to paint it and put on a new tire. That’s not urgent, though, I guess. Not that replacing my 24” is either. But my trainer wants to learn how to ride, which is essentially how I’m paying for her services. I’ll call UDC tomorrow or Tuesday to find out how much longer the blowout sale is going on, and also try and find out about their big secret they’ve been hiding from my teammate for a month now.

I bid on eBay for Amanda Gallacher’s KH muni. It’s a little more than I’d like to spend right now, but it’s a great unicycle, she seems to need the money, and I may have a bit of a crush on her. Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I’d like to get to know her. If I can pick that thing up this cheap, I’ll be good to go for Moab Munifest 2009.

Despite sloth (my own), greed (the Farmington uni-theif), and perhaps a bit lust (I am in college, after all), I’m hanging in there. This semester is going to be a kick in the junk, though. I don’t drink caffeine, but I may have to start, or start doing cocaine, or meth, or something so I don’t have to sleep. I just don’t know where else I can sacrifice the time.

Sweet dreams, everyone

I came home with pizza, then put it in the fridge to warm it up

I'm from Arizona. It is 36 degrees in Flagstaff right now, which is about what you'd expect for the beginning of January. Not warm, but livable. 

You know what it's like here in Farmington? -5 degrees. -15 with the wind chill. That, combined with the couple feet of snow we got over the past ten days, which make the sidewalks impassable, makes it really hard to motivate yourself to go for a ride.

I rode in to work today wearing my complete spandex outfit under my shirt and tie. On top of that, I had my grandpa's wool trench coat from the war. On top of that I had thick gloves, a scarf, and earmuffs. The ten square inches of exposed skin I had left was screaming the whole time.

After work, I needed to work out for a while, and was thinking about riding a 15-mile loop with a lot of rolling hills. I suited up, rode one mile, then called myself an idiot, and went home. There's a nice, heated gym that I can use for free not two minutes from my front door, and I was going to give myself frost bite at 8 o'clock at night for posterity sake? Hell, they'll even let me ride my freestyle uni in there after 7. What am I doing in the freezing cold?

Thursday nights are apparently "bring your douchebag friend to the gym" night at the UMF fitness center. Just walking through the weight room to get to the locker room, there were a dozen guys pumping iron. It's like they have a bizarro world version of anorexia. They look in the mirror, and say, "This part of my body doesn't bulge enough! More weight!" There was one fellow there with enormous bicepts, 17 tricepts, shoulders that would dwarf a Buick, a neck that was wider than his waist, and tiny little bird legs. Evidently, he refused to flex any muscle below his belly button. In his defense, though, the weight room mirrors only reflect from the belt up, and I'm not sure if he was capable of bending over far enough to see himself.

So, I ran a couple miles, did 15 minutes on the most uncomfortable exercycle in the world, and did a lot of core exercises. Uni magazine publishes a good work out in each issue, and they stress core work.  Okay, and it makes me look good. I also worked the leg press for a bit. I did s 5 reps at 250 pounds, but I was starting to cockroach, so I dropped it down to 200, and did another 15. I think that works my climbing muscles, but I'm not sure. I suppose I may have to train those on actual hills.

The salt and sand from the roads this winter have taken their toll on Captain Pasquale. I brought him inside to clean him up a bit. I don't want him to get all rusty just in time to meet a hundred other top-notch riders from around the world. That will be the rest of my night, me thinks.

One of the biggest distractions I've had lately has been  www.watchthesimpsonsonline.com. I imagine before too long, it will go the way of TV-links, so if you're a Simpsons fan like me, enjoy while you can.
 

Cheers!

New Year's Day

Well, it's one in the afternoon on January 1, 2008, and it's time I got out of bed. My stomach and I are not cooperating at the moment, though. I don't drink, so I'm not hung over, but I still felt the need to punish my digestive track last night.

Team registration for Ride The Lobster started last night, and I'm officially in training. That means Max is going to be running, stretching, biking, pushing, pulling, flexing, riding, and generally taxing all my muscles until I can pass cars on the roads without even breathing heavily. I've already hit the gym twice in the past week, and have made a surprising discovery. This is the heaviest I've been in my life at a whopping 176 lbs (or 800,000 kg, for sss those who live outside the US and trust my math). But at 6'1", and most of that weight lying in my leg muscles, I'm a skinny boy. I have to put on some fat for the races I have planned for 2008.

New years resolution #1: Gain 10 pounds.

So, what does this have to do with punishing my stomach? My girlfriend-slash-personal trainer came down for a couple of days, and in the frantic day and a half of apartment cleaning that I did, I neglected to buy food. So, we did the very couple-y thing and went grocery shopping together. One of the things we picked up was a Naked brand protein smoothie with a dangerous 20 grams of protein per serving.

"Should I get this?"
"Well, it's protein, and you don't eat much meat."
"Yeah?"
"Besides, you're in training. You need stuff like that."

It's supposed to taste a bit like a pina colata, but it's more like drinking sand than anything. I mean, you can taste the pineapple, banana, coconut, and stuff like that, but it is made of dirt. Protein dirt that sticks to your mouth and gives you the most uncomfortable feeling that you need to brush your teeth before you can do anything else.

I'll probably buy it again, too. Yeah, it's an unpleasant experience, but I'll look at the bottle again in the store and think, "20 grams of protein, 250 calories, and 93% juice? How bad could it possibly have been?" It's really not that bad, it's just that the 7% that isn't juice is pure, nutritious sand. They call it soy and whey protein, but it's sand, straight from Azusa, California. Seriously, a drop rolled down the side of the bottle, and after it dried, I could have used it to stip the stain off my bookcase.

We made a couple other grocery-related blunders, but I'm pretty sure this is what has been making a mess of my stomach.

So, dear reader, happy new year. I have every intention of making this year a biggie. Besides Ride The Lobster, which is going to be huge, there's the Whiteface uphill race in Lake Placid, at which I have to redeem my poor performance in 2007, and the Mount Equinox hillclimb in Vermont. That's three long unicycle races in one year. Well, two long races and the crown jewel of long-distance cycling.

Additionally, I'm going to put more focus on my school work, and get my car fixed. I'm also looking to learn how to ride an ultimate wheel or a BC wheel. You know, just for fun...

Since down time is not on the schedule for 2008, I'm going to rest up while I can. I'll keep this blog updated with news, pictures, and maybe some other goodies as I come across them.

Cheers!