Fresh Air!

I'm tryingto catch up on my blog, so, bear with me...

I’ve recently moved, and am now in a one-room efficiency on the 3rd-and-a-half floor (or is that three-and-a-halfth?) of 166 High St. Despite the drawbacks that have developed over the past couple weeks, I’m enjoying it. I’m cooking more, I’m showering more frequently, my teeth are whiter, I’m showing up early for work, I’m stronger, I’m reading more, and with this blog entry, I am accomplishing one of my many summer writing projects.
 What could have happened? Why am I suddenly investing so much in my body and mind? Well, because Farmington is a lonely, isolated place in the summertime, as I suspect it will be over the next year. Almost all my friends graduated, Courtney left me, and now I live alone. I’ve already tested the limits of my welcome with Matt and Kayne, and somehow caused a horrible rift between Renee and her roommate, so I feel compelled to hermit myself lest I do more damage.
 Okay, that’s a little dramatic. But my life had dramatically changed in a short time. The Courtney thing has been playing tricks with my mind. Courtney hasn’t been playing tricks, mind you. Just… I’ve never been in this sort of situation before, and I don’t know how to handle it. We respected each other, we did what we could to make each other happy, we talked to each other, we didn’t cheat on each other, we didn’t play mind games, we had a truly rare relationship. And yet we broke up. It stings a bit. I’m not the bitter gargoyle I thought I would be, or was when my relationship with Petra ended. How am I supposed to react to a break up when neither of the two parties really have any interest in being broken up?
 It’s been a struggle to find people with whom to talk about it (see the remarks above about pushing the limits of a couple friends of mine), so basically, I’m stumped. I don’t know what to do. I want to struggle against it, but for what purpose? Reconciliation is not an option. If staying together were an option, we wouldn’t have broken up.
 So, I guess it is what it is, and we have to live with it. The only trouble is there are very few things that I accept that I need to live with. Everything else, I’ll strive to remedy. I don’t like having to live with things.
 Typically, I use writing as a means of organizing my thoughts to draw them to their honest and necessary climax. It seems that, for now at least, I’m unable to flesh out my thoughts on Courtney. Perhaps another time.
 So hey! How about hockey!
 Red Wings lost in game seven by one goal. Kronwal’s 3rd period shot off the crossbar was heartbreaking, but we lost. That’s okay. There’s a reason it’s so rare that a team wins back to back championships- It’s really, really hard. Just to make it to the finals two years in a row is practically unheard of. That really speaks to the strength of the Penguins and the Redwings these years. The Wings were pretty badly injured, and in the midst of uncharacteristic scoring droughts from most of their big guns. It’s probably better for the NHL that the Pens won anyway.
 Here’s why I’m optimistic. The Wings are stacked for next year. Not only do we have Lidstrom, Datsyuk, Zetterberg, and Franzen signed for life, but some youngsters that proved to be valuable weapons on both offense and defense. So I say to all you Penguins fans out there: Same time next year?

 I’ve been reading The Seducer’s Diary, by Kierkegaard lately, and it is wonderful. It’s a slightly fictionalized story of his love affair with a woman named Regine Olsen. Love has never been so finely crafted with paper and ink, and heartbreak explosive and fierce. Kierkegaard never recovered from their break up, and it isn’t possible to fully understand his philosophy without understanding her role in his life. This needs to be made into a movie.

So, all this is old news. I haven't been able to post, because I only get reliable internets on my balcony (fire escape), and I can only bring the laptop out there when it's not raining, which is has been for the past 26 days.

So, more to come, check back often.