Okay, so I’ve been working on a new entry for a couple weeks now. It hasn’t been lack of material that has prevented me from writing. I’m just a busy, important fellow with a daunting semester starting early Tuesday morning. On top of that, I’ve been working full time, and cleaning my apartment constantly.
Writing isn’t the only thing that has suffered at the expense of the increasing burdens on my time. I haven’t been to the gym in a while, and the exercises I do at home I’ve been slacking on because last time I thought to do them, I was too full of pasta to bend that far. I mean, I still unicycle four miles every day, but that’s just not doing it for me.
Now, looking at a 16 credit semester and 23 hours of pharmacy a week, things do not look good for Unicycle Max. I’m going to have to cut some hours at work so I can train, but I have a feeling I’m going to end up using training time to catch up on reading, or spend more time with Courtney. I’ll have to write it into my schedule, and hold to it, like someone with actual athletic discipline.
If I cut my pharmacy hours, then I’m going to be cash poor for… well, forever. I need money to fix my car (which will zero out my checking account once again), for rent, for phone, for food, and to replace a couple unicycles. My 24” Torker Unistar CX modified all-terrain unicycle was stolen from outside Rite Aid while I was working a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t locked up or anything, because I live in semi-rural Maine, and I figure the only person within thirty miles it would have any value to is me.
I guess if any of my unicycles were to be stolen, that would be the one. What I mean is, it would be the cheapest to replace. It’s a cheap unicycle, but after I’d reported it to the police, I got to thinking. The pedals, tire, and saddle cost me $70. The other thing is, of course, sentimental value. I learned how to ride on that unicycle. So did my brother. I’ve had it for five and a half years, my dad gave it to me for my birthday. I put a lot of time, money, blood, sweat, tears, and miles into that little Torker.
So, I reported it to the police, like I said, and they came by to talk to me about it. I knew it wasn’t too likely that they would find it, or even put much effort into it. The sergeant told me, “If we see anyone unicycling who isn’t you, I guess, we’ll stop them and ask them some questions.” Then he added, “Well, there is that one girl who rides, as well.”
At that moment, Rosie knocked on my door, her Torker LX 20” schlepped over her shoulder. When I opened it, the sergeant pointed at her, and shouted, “There she is!” which I immediately followed by demanding, “Did you steal my unicycle?!” I’m amazed she didn’t turn and run.
I suggested to her the idea of holding a unicycle jousting tournament when the snow melts to raise money to replace the unicycle. Not as ourselves, of course, but as war-like alter-egos who live by the wheel and by the lance. I would be Prince Vincent Von Fabian III of Moldova, wearing Roman Centurion armor, for some reason. I believe she said she would be someone named Eilas, pronounced and perhaps even spelled Eyeless, wearing samurai armor made largely of plastic buttons. I figured if we did it between the student center and Roberts hall, we could get some foot traffic. Then again, there’s not a whole lot of room there, especially if we use my seven-foot lances. We could put an eye out. Then again, she is eyeless….
Anyway, We’ll pick a location later.
I also have to replace my training unicycle. I have a 25 year old Miyata that I got at a yard sale. The seat post is only 200mm tops, which is way too short for me, so I use it to teach people to ride. But, she’s old, and a quarter century of abuse has kind of gotten to her. You can’t get parts on this continent, so I’m thinking I’ll just retire her. UDC is still holding their blowout sale, so I think I’ll just pick up a Sun, or something cheap like that.
But, financially, if I’m getting my car fixed, and paying my bills, and eating, there isn’t much room for unicycle. I still need to get my Coker in tip-top shape. For that, I need a bearing and handlebars, at very least, and I’d like to paint it and put on a new tire. That’s not urgent, though, I guess. Not that replacing my 24” is either. But my trainer wants to learn how to ride, which is essentially how I’m paying for her services. I’ll call UDC tomorrow or Tuesday to find out how much longer the blowout sale is going on, and also try and find out about their big secret they’ve been hiding from my teammate for a month now.
I bid on eBay for Amanda Gallacher’s KH muni. It’s a little more than I’d like to spend right now, but it’s a great unicycle, she seems to need the money, and I may have a bit of a crush on her. Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I’d like to get to know her. If I can pick that thing up this cheap, I’ll be good to go for Moab Munifest 2009.
Despite sloth (my own), greed (the Farmington uni-theif), and perhaps a bit lust (I am in college, after all), I’m hanging in there. This semester is going to be a kick in the junk, though. I don’t drink caffeine, but I may have to start, or start doing cocaine, or meth, or something so I don’t have to sleep. I just don’t know where else I can sacrifice the time.
Sweet dreams, everyone
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
I came home with pizza, then put it in the fridge to warm it up
I'm from Arizona. It is 36 degrees in Flagstaff right now, which is about what you'd expect for the beginning of January. Not warm, but livable.
You know what it's like here in Farmington? -5 degrees. -15 with the wind chill. That, combined with the couple feet of snow we got over the past ten days, which make the sidewalks impassable, makes it really hard to motivate yourself to go for a ride.
I rode in to work today wearing my complete spandex outfit under my shirt and tie. On top of that, I had my grandpa's wool trench coat from the war. On top of that I had thick gloves, a scarf, and earmuffs. The ten square inches of exposed skin I had left was screaming the whole time.
After work, I needed to work out for a while, and was thinking about riding a 15-mile loop with a lot of rolling hills. I suited up, rode one mile, then called myself an idiot, and went home. There's a nice, heated gym that I can use for free not two minutes from my front door, and I was going to give myself frost bite at 8 o'clock at night for posterity sake? Hell, they'll even let me ride my freestyle uni in there after 7. What am I doing in the freezing cold?
Thursday nights are apparently "bring your douchebag friend to the gym" night at the UMF fitness center. Just walking through the weight room to get to the locker room, there were a dozen guys pumping iron. It's like they have a bizarro world version of anorexia. They look in the mirror, and say, "This part of my body doesn't bulge enough! More weight!" There was one fellow there with enormous bicepts, 17 tricepts, shoulders that would dwarf a Buick, a neck that was wider than his waist, and tiny little bird legs. Evidently, he refused to flex any muscle below his belly button. In his defense, though, the weight room mirrors only reflect from the belt up, and I'm not sure if he was capable of bending over far enough to see himself.
So, I ran a couple miles, did 15 minutes on the most uncomfortable exercycle in the world, and did a lot of core exercises. Uni magazine publishes a good work out in each issue, and they stress core work. Okay, and it makes me look good. I also worked the leg press for a bit. I did s 5 reps at 250 pounds, but I was starting to cockroach, so I dropped it down to 200, and did another 15. I think that works my climbing muscles, but I'm not sure. I suppose I may have to train those on actual hills.
The salt and sand from the roads this winter have taken their toll on Captain Pasquale. I brought him inside to clean him up a bit. I don't want him to get all rusty just in time to meet a hundred other top-notch riders from around the world. That will be the rest of my night, me thinks.
One of the biggest distractions I've had lately has been www.watchthesimpsonsonline.com. I imagine before too long, it will go the way of TV-links, so if you're a Simpsons fan like me, enjoy while you can.
Cheers!
You know what it's like here in Farmington? -5 degrees. -15 with the wind chill. That, combined with the couple feet of snow we got over the past ten days, which make the sidewalks impassable, makes it really hard to motivate yourself to go for a ride.
I rode in to work today wearing my complete spandex outfit under my shirt and tie. On top of that, I had my grandpa's wool trench coat from the war. On top of that I had thick gloves, a scarf, and earmuffs. The ten square inches of exposed skin I had left was screaming the whole time.
After work, I needed to work out for a while, and was thinking about riding a 15-mile loop with a lot of rolling hills. I suited up, rode one mile, then called myself an idiot, and went home. There's a nice, heated gym that I can use for free not two minutes from my front door, and I was going to give myself frost bite at 8 o'clock at night for posterity sake? Hell, they'll even let me ride my freestyle uni in there after 7. What am I doing in the freezing cold?
Thursday nights are apparently "bring your douchebag friend to the gym" night at the UMF fitness center. Just walking through the weight room to get to the locker room, there were a dozen guys pumping iron. It's like they have a bizarro world version of anorexia. They look in the mirror, and say, "This part of my body doesn't bulge enough! More weight!" There was one fellow there with enormous bicepts, 17 tricepts, shoulders that would dwarf a Buick, a neck that was wider than his waist, and tiny little bird legs. Evidently, he refused to flex any muscle below his belly button. In his defense, though, the weight room mirrors only reflect from the belt up, and I'm not sure if he was capable of bending over far enough to see himself.
So, I ran a couple miles, did 15 minutes on the most uncomfortable exercycle in the world, and did a lot of core exercises. Uni magazine publishes a good work out in each issue, and they stress core work. Okay, and it makes me look good. I also worked the leg press for a bit. I did s 5 reps at 250 pounds, but I was starting to cockroach, so I dropped it down to 200, and did another 15. I think that works my climbing muscles, but I'm not sure. I suppose I may have to train those on actual hills.
The salt and sand from the roads this winter have taken their toll on Captain Pasquale. I brought him inside to clean him up a bit. I don't want him to get all rusty just in time to meet a hundred other top-notch riders from around the world. That will be the rest of my night, me thinks.
One of the biggest distractions I've had lately has been www.watchthesimpsonsonline.com. I imagine before too long, it will go the way of TV-links, so if you're a Simpsons fan like me, enjoy while you can.
Cheers!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Year's Day
Well, it's one in the afternoon on January 1, 2008, and it's time I got out of bed. My stomach and I are not cooperating at the moment, though. I don't drink, so I'm not hung over, but I still felt the need to punish my digestive track last night.
Team registration for Ride The Lobster started last night, and I'm officially in training. That means Max is going to be running, stretching, biking, pushing, pulling, flexing, riding, and generally taxing all my muscles until I can pass cars on the roads without even breathing heavily. I've already hit the gym twice in the past week, and have made a surprising discovery. This is the heaviest I've been in my life at a whopping 176 lbs (or 800,000 kg, for sss those who live outside the US and trust my math). But at 6'1", and most of that weight lying in my leg muscles, I'm a skinny boy. I have to put on some fat for the races I have planned for 2008.
New years resolution #1: Gain 10 pounds.
So, what does this have to do with punishing my stomach? My girlfriend-slash-personal trainer came down for a couple of days, and in the frantic day and a half of apartment cleaning that I did, I neglected to buy food. So, we did the very couple-y thing and went grocery shopping together. One of the things we picked up was a Naked brand protein smoothie with a dangerous 20 grams of protein per serving.
"Should I get this?"
"Well, it's protein, and you don't eat much meat."
"Yeah?"
"Besides, you're in training. You need stuff like that."
It's supposed to taste a bit like a pina colata, but it's more like drinking sand than anything. I mean, you can taste the pineapple, banana, coconut, and stuff like that, but it is made of dirt. Protein dirt that sticks to your mouth and gives you the most uncomfortable feeling that you need to brush your teeth before you can do anything else.
I'll probably buy it again, too. Yeah, it's an unpleasant experience, but I'll look at the bottle again in the store and think, "20 grams of protein, 250 calories, and 93% juice? How bad could it possibly have been?" It's really not that bad, it's just that the 7% that isn't juice is pure, nutritious sand. They call it soy and whey protein, but it's sand, straight from Azusa, California. Seriously, a drop rolled down the side of the bottle, and after it dried, I could have used it to stip the stain off my bookcase.
We made a couple other grocery-related blunders, but I'm pretty sure this is what has been making a mess of my stomach.
So, dear reader, happy new year. I have every intention of making this year a biggie. Besides Ride The Lobster, which is going to be huge, there's the Whiteface uphill race in Lake Placid, at which I have to redeem my poor performance in 2007, and the Mount Equinox hillclimb in Vermont. That's three long unicycle races in one year. Well, two long races and the crown jewel of long-distance cycling.
Additionally, I'm going to put more focus on my school work, and get my car fixed. I'm also looking to learn how to ride an ultimate wheel or a BC wheel. You know, just for fun...
Since down time is not on the schedule for 2008, I'm going to rest up while I can. I'll keep this blog updated with news, pictures, and maybe some other goodies as I come across them.
Cheers!
Team registration for Ride The Lobster started last night, and I'm officially in training. That means Max is going to be running, stretching, biking, pushing, pulling, flexing, riding, and generally taxing all my muscles until I can pass cars on the roads without even breathing heavily. I've already hit the gym twice in the past week, and have made a surprising discovery. This is the heaviest I've been in my life at a whopping 176 lbs (or 800,000 kg, for sss those who live outside the US and trust my math). But at 6'1", and most of that weight lying in my leg muscles, I'm a skinny boy. I have to put on some fat for the races I have planned for 2008.
New years resolution #1: Gain 10 pounds.
So, what does this have to do with punishing my stomach? My girlfriend-slash-personal trainer came down for a couple of days, and in the frantic day and a half of apartment cleaning that I did, I neglected to buy food. So, we did the very couple-y thing and went grocery shopping together. One of the things we picked up was a Naked brand protein smoothie with a dangerous 20 grams of protein per serving.
"Should I get this?"
"Well, it's protein, and you don't eat much meat."
"Yeah?"
"Besides, you're in training. You need stuff like that."
It's supposed to taste a bit like a pina colata, but it's more like drinking sand than anything. I mean, you can taste the pineapple, banana, coconut, and stuff like that, but it is made of dirt. Protein dirt that sticks to your mouth and gives you the most uncomfortable feeling that you need to brush your teeth before you can do anything else.
I'll probably buy it again, too. Yeah, it's an unpleasant experience, but I'll look at the bottle again in the store and think, "20 grams of protein, 250 calories, and 93% juice? How bad could it possibly have been?" It's really not that bad, it's just that the 7% that isn't juice is pure, nutritious sand. They call it soy and whey protein, but it's sand, straight from Azusa, California. Seriously, a drop rolled down the side of the bottle, and after it dried, I could have used it to stip the stain off my bookcase.
We made a couple other grocery-related blunders, but I'm pretty sure this is what has been making a mess of my stomach.
So, dear reader, happy new year. I have every intention of making this year a biggie. Besides Ride The Lobster, which is going to be huge, there's the Whiteface uphill race in Lake Placid, at which I have to redeem my poor performance in 2007, and the Mount Equinox hillclimb in Vermont. That's three long unicycle races in one year. Well, two long races and the crown jewel of long-distance cycling.
Additionally, I'm going to put more focus on my school work, and get my car fixed. I'm also looking to learn how to ride an ultimate wheel or a BC wheel. You know, just for fun...
Since down time is not on the schedule for 2008, I'm going to rest up while I can. I'll keep this blog updated with news, pictures, and maybe some other goodies as I come across them.
Cheers!
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